SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE – Part 3

GETTING STARTED:

God ordains life-teachers to train and equip us with the tools necessary to enter the next season of our growth. As you walk through life, God will send people who are interested in helping you get to the next step of your life.  God also sends others to learn from you.

ONE BIG IDEA!

You will be between two teachers in life: Wisdom and Consequence. You must be willing to accept instruction to become a Conduit.

STUDY:

LUKE 6:40 – “The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.” (NIV)

LUKE 12:48b – “…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked (NIV).”

LEARN:

TWO SCHOOLS OF LEARNING:

THE SCHOOL OF EXPERIENCE (SOE)

The driving philosophy behind this school:  God sends hardships and challenges to teach us His ways. SOE students believe that experience is the primary way God teaches us about life and it is how He reveals His will to us.  SOE students have billions of classmates all around the world.  SOE is simply the most common way people learn about life.  As life happens to all of us, we hopefully extract lessons that help us avoid mistakes and maybe eventually lead us to success.  One does not need to qualify for enrollment into the SOE.  Just live. Take risks, make mistakes, get hurt, and simply keep living.  The lessons present themselves as you walk through life.  You don’t have to pay anything to get into the SOE.  In other words, tuition is absolutely 100% free!

Experience has never been God’s chosen method of instruction. In fact, most of us don’t learn from our mistakes. We keep banging our heads against the same walls or issues, time and time again. Quite often, the wounds received from experiencing life’s lessons produce permanent scars. You might have to carry the scars throughout the rest of your life. Unfortunately, some scars leave deep and devastating reminders, even after the lessons have been embraced. Experience is a hard teacher. Experience gives the test before the lesson. God does not send hardships and challenges to teach us His ways.  GOD GAVE US THE BIBLE AND SENT US THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO IS EVER-PRESENT TO HELP US THROUGH LIFE. Believe it or not, there is a solution in God’s word for any problem we will ever face. He loves us very much that He provides a way to avoid troubles before we have to go through them (1 Corinthians 10:13).

THE SCHOOL OF INSTRUCTION (SOI)

The driving philosophy behind this school: God ordains instructors to train and equip us with the necessary tools to enter the next season of our development (Proverbs 15:2) God desires that we become learners from those who have gone ahead of us. Unfortunately, SOI is not popular.  Walking down the road of instruction is lonely.  You must determine to deafen your ears to the present situation.  The SOI is not free.  Proverbs 12:1 – “If you love learning, you love the discipline that goes with it – how shortsighted to refuse correction (MSG)!”  Life is not a dress rehearsal.  You only have one shot at it. So, here’s what we need to do:  Find an experienced coach and seasoned mentor and learn from them. Observe the ways these people handle life. Notice what they did right, paying particular attention to their mistakes and how they dealt with them. Instruction is a kind instructor who equips you before the test. Proverbs 19:20 – “Take good counsel and accept correction – that’s the way to live wisely and well (MSG).”

TWO KINDS OF VERTICAL RELATIONSHIPS

1. Conduits and 2. Coaches. 

A conduit is a channel that carries a substance from one place to another. Other names for Conduits include apprentices, proteges, disciples, sons, daughters, and students. 1 Corinthians 4:16 – “So I urge you to imitate me (NLT).” Conduits are life students dedicated to sitting at the feet of seasoned Coaches. We all need people who will challenge, affirm, correct, or validate us. Why should a young person decide to reach out to an elder instead of toughing it out?  Let me share with you several reasons.  1) To destroy your life’s Goliath. Goliath represents the habit, issue, or challenge that keeps knocking you down. 2) To reach a higher plateau.  There is a saying, “Advice sharpens a rusty opinion.” Have you stopped growing?  Oftentimes, plateaus are caused by behavioral blind spots. 3) To overcome a lack of confidence.  Although most of us know what to do in order to grow into our assignments, we don’t do it because we fear we might fail.  Becoming a Conduit assures your forward movement since your Coach will develop your confidence as they equip you in life.

Although most people know how important it is to have a coach or mentor, only a few ask for advice.  What stops us from finding coaches and sitting at their feet?  1) Ignorance – people don’t know the value in learning from Coaches. Hosea 4:6 – “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge (NIV).” Ignorance not only hurts us, but it can also destroy us. 2) Pride – people think that they know more than others. James 4:6 – “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble (NIV).” 3) Fear – people are nervous to approach a potential coach. Walking into your God-given destiny will often call for you to learn from God through others. No matter who you are or where you are in life, you will reach a point on your journey when you could use a helping hand or godly instruction to help you navigate through different situations and seasons. Philippians 3:17 – “Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do (NIV).”

The Japanese have a saying, “Feed a dog for three days and it is grateful for three years.  Feed a cat for three years and it forgets after three days.”  Some people are Conduits while others are Parasites. A Parasite lives on another larger, host organism in a way that harms or is of no advantage to the host.  Although both Conduit and Parasites attach to the Coach to learn and advance, the two are entirely different.  Conduits attach to grow, to mature, and to eventually a bountiful return in the life of the Coach.  On the other hand, Parasites are only interested in themselves and their personal well-being.  Be careful not to fall into the trap of being a Parasite. Conduits attach to GROW.  Parasites attach to DRAIN.

SIX CONDUIT ATTRIBUTES:

1. AN OPEN BOOK

Real Conduits are TRANSPARENT. They are open books and strive to live their lives out in front of those assigned to guide them.  Parasites are pretentious or manipulative.  Real Conduits are transparent of their shortcomings, aspirations, and dreams. A Coach can really help this type of person become all that God intended.

2. A LIKEABLE PERSONALITY

Conduits should have a likable attitude and are pleasant to teach and instruct. Conduits should strive to be as pleasant as possible. If you want someone to take time coaching and guiding you, don’t give them a hard time with your attitude. Make sure that it’s pleasant to be with you and to talk to you.

3. A FLEXIBLE CHARACTER

One of the most frustrating things for any teacher is an arrogant, know-it-all pupil. In his ignorance and immaturity, the student questions and debates the seasoned instruction of his teacher, forgetting his limitations. Parasites want to learn what they can, as fast as they can, to use the instructor for purely selfish reasons. True Conduits are not rigid and stuck in their ways. Conduits want to learn, to glean, and to mature.  The Coach is the teacher, and the Conduit is the student.  When the Conduit is ready to learn, to be molded, to be formed, God sends a Coach into his or her life.

4. A RESPECTFUL POSTURE

Familiarity breeds contempt. Depending on the depth of relationship, Conduits have access to the private lives of their Coaches. Even then, the access must never be abused. They must respect their Coach’s private space, personal time, and boundaries, no matter how much access they think or feel they have.  Remember:  Coaches are not buddies or pals.  To the Conduits, they are not Cheerleaders. A wise Conduit never attempts to turn His Coach into a Cheerleader.

5. A WINNING ATTITUDE

People with winning attitudes look at the long-term benefits of growing and learning from their Coaches.  They realize that their attitude determines the outcome of every situation.  If you have a winning attitude, you will see the positive side of issues, problems, and circumstances.  Having a winning attitude considers and treats others with respect.  Growing and maturing comes naturally for those who have a good attitude about themselves and life.

6. A GROWING POTENTIAL

True Conduits show potential for growth.  This motivates the Coach to keep sowing seeds of encouragement and support into their lives.  Coaches want their Conduits to ask questions and keep their interest in them.  Conduits should burn with the passion to become. They must keep the lamps burning; otherwise, they are in danger of becoming Parasites. Conduits must grow wings and become.  Sooner or later, the echo must find its voice.  Eventually, the student must become a teacher.

GROW:

APPLICATION QUESTIONS:

1. What is your main takeaway lesson on “Conduits”?
2. Do you have a coach/mentor? What have you learned from him/her? Share to the group.
3. Based on the 6 Conduit’s Attributes, which area do you think are you lacking? What must you do to improve?