SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE – Part 2

GETTING STARTED:

Not everyone can be a Cheerleader in your life. It takes more than friendship and commitment for you to be able a friend who will cheer you on no matter what situation you are in life.

ONE BIG IDEA!

Cheerleaders are like escalators; they advance you toward your assigned destiny.

STUDY:

PROVERBS 13:20 – “BECOME WISE BY WALKING WITH THE WISE; HANG OUT WITH FOOLS AND WATCH YOUR LIFE FALL TO PIECES. (MSG)

LEARN:

NINE CRITICAL QUESTIONS:

1. ARE THEY WALKING WITH GOD? (PSALM 119:63)

Your Cheerleader’s most important function is to encourage your walk with God.  He or she must help you focus on what should be the most important relationship in your life – Jesus and you! Paul cautions in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness (NLT)?”  Your Cheerleaders must never replace God in your life.  The moment they do, they become Corruptors.  In fact, before we are anyone’s friend, we must be God’s first and foremost (James 4:4).

Jesus must be the center of our life.  He should be the first because He saved us.  He redeemed us from hell.  He must be first in our life. Jesus should be our number one friend (Job 1:8). Ask yourself these questions: When faced with life challenges, do my Cheerleaders push me to a place of faith in God and prayer?  Do they encourage me to prioritize my relationship with God rather than in our friendship?  Cheerleaders should push you closer to God.

2. ARE THEY PEOPLE OF CHARACTER? (1 JOHN 1:6)

What is Character?  Character is a summation of the ideals by which you live your life.  Characters are all the mental and moral attributes, whether good or evil, that define you as an individual.  Character affects every area of your life – your decisions, words, actions, reactions, attitudes, goals, and relationships.  In fact, most failures – whether in marriage, habits, at the job, or in the church, can be traced back to a breakdown in character (Proverbs 18:16).  It is true that gifting or talent will most certainly cause doors to open before you, but only character keeps them open.  Your character is the most vital factor in all decision making.  I once heard someone say, “When we wrap up our assignments here on earth, the only thing that cannot be buried with our corpses is our character.” This is what we are when no one is watching.  Characters are not built behind the pulpit or in the limelight. One cannot receive character in a prayer line with the laying of hands.  It is not learned in conferences or seminars or taught in Bible school.  Character is developed internally when no one is watching).

Carefully examine your friends’ character.  Do not be fooled; it’s what they do daily that defines them.  It’s their actions that create habits; habits form character and character determines where they will ultimately end up in life. Dr. Billy Graham said, “When wealth is lost nothing is lost; when health is lost; something is lost; when character is lost; all is lost.”   Do you walk with men or women of integrity?  Integrity is one of the most noticeable byproducts of character.  Integrity is the absence of duplicity.  People of integrity are reliable, accountable, and internally solid. If your friends have integrity, they will live consistent lives.  They are the same wherever they are, whatever they’re doing.  True integrity does not end when we walk out of the church, ministry offices, or into our private world.  In many ways, that is where it really begins.  That is when we must start to practice what we preach to show who we truly are (James 1:22-24).

3. ARE THEY SUBMITTED TO AUTHORITY? (JAMES 4:7A)

Your Cheerleader must possess a heart of submission to authority.  First, Cheerleaders should be submitted to God.  Submission to God is NON-NEGOTIABLE in the life of a true child of God.  They must love Jesus and His Church.  They must want to reach others for Jesus. As Christians, we are light to those who don’t know Christ – the world.  Our primary assignment here on earth is to share the good news of Jesus.  Godly Cheerleaders have Christ at the center of their lives. Second, Cheerleaders should submit to the Spiritual Authority (Hebrews 13:17). Third, Cheerleaders should submit to the Delegated Authority (Romans 13:1-2). God put them over us, so their authority originates from Him.  Dishonoring or refusing to submit to them is also tantamount to dishonoring Him who put them over us. Do your Cheerleaders obey the law?  Do they pay their taxes?  Godly Cheerleaders are law-abiding members of the community. Fourth, Cheerleaders should submit to the Personal Authority (Ephesians 6:1-3). Godly Cheerleaders always maintain respect for their earthly parents.  I must note, however, that parental submission is not always the same as parental obedience.  In many societies or communities, obedience to God can mean disobedience to parents if parents are telling you to do something that is against the will of God.

4. DO WE HAVE THE SAME VALUES? (AMOS 3:3)

Your values are your non-negotiables – those things that you hold dear to your heart. As a believer, your values are dictated by God’s Word. If your friend does not care about the Bible, his/her values will be different from yours. Most of us connect with people based on interests or hobbies.  Relationships, even marriages, don’t break up over similarities, but differences. So, here’s my question to you:  What do you value? Do you share the same values as the man or woman with whom you have decided to walk through life?

5. DO WE HAVE THE SAME PRIORITIES?

Our values dictate our priorities.  For example, as a family, we go to church on Sunday?  That is part of our family – to gather with fellow believers for encouragement and worship.  Now imagine, I have a best friend who has no relationship with God whatsoever.  He thinks church is a complete waste of time, that Christianity is a joke.  He believes that Sunday is a relaxation day.  Do you think we can grow together? I am not suggesting that our friends must like everything we like.  But when the priorities are mostly different, then consideration needs to be made as to whether one can still walk alongside another.  A proverb says, “A man is known by the company he keeps.”

6. DO THEY VALUE MY DREAM?

Do your friends value your dreams?  What do they say when you share your plans for your financial future, for the dream house you and your wife wish to buy one day?  What is their response when you try and share your vision for your ministry or your career?  Do they listen to you, or even better, encourage you to dream bigger?  Your friends’ response to your dream is a clear indication of their real place in your life. Cheerleaders will dream with you.

7. DO THEY CELEBRATE WITH ME? (LUKE 15:3-6)

True friends will also rejoice with you.  They will ride the upward emotions of joy with you.  Simply put, Cheerleaders are happy when you are happy.  Watch your friends’ facial expressions when you share a recent victory.  Listen to their tone of voice when you share your testimony. Are they genuinely excited for you?

8. DO THEY SYMPATHIZE WITH ME?

The Cheerleader will cry with you. Galatians 6:2 – “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ (NLT).”  True friends will dream with you, celebrate with you, but also cry with you.  In other words, True friends live life with you.

9. WHERE ARE THEY HEADING? (PROVERBS 4:25-27)

Some people are easy go lucky.  They are happy to go wherever the winds of life blow, following crowds, embracing new fads and trends, wherever people might take them.  True Cheerleaders don’t merely go with the flow.  In fact, most of them go against it.  They look ahead.  They prepare.  They plan.  Walk with such a person and your life will prosper.  Dr. Myles Munroe once said, “The real problem is the color of people’s lives, their lives are gray.” Such people don’t have a precise way of living.  They’re just here. They drift along, allowing life to happen to them. Cheerleaders are like escalators; they advance you toward your assigned destiny.

Finding real Cheerleaders (true friends) takes time. It does not mean you demolish your existing relationships. Remember you did not build a relationship overnight.  Thus, it is not realistic to think that you will build positive ones instantly.  The process takes time and focus. It’s time to maximize your horizontal relationships and find your Cheerleaders.  When you do, hold on to them. Love them and walk faithfully with them. Proverbs 18:19 – “Do a favor and win a friend forever; nothing can untie that bond.” (MSG) 

GROW:

APPLICATION QUESTIONS:

1. What is your main takeaway lesson on “Critical Questions”?
2. Describe your cheerleaders. Which among the “Nine Critical Questions” describe them?
3. Was there a time in your life when what you thought was your cheerleader-friend didn’t turn out to be truly happy for you? What have you learned from it?